Octogenarians Norma and Ian have changed the lives of over 70 young people
‘Whatever is broken in your heart can be mended’ says 80 year old foster carer Norma Scott from Hampshire, who together with her 87 year old husband Ian, has provided a loving nurturing home for over 70 looked after children ranging from babies through to 17 year olds – some for overnight or 2 day emergency placements and some for years.
“I was 42 when I married Ian who was divorced and had 4 grown children of his own”, said Norma. “We now have five grandchildren and eight great grandchildren who fondly call me ‘Nanny Norma’. I love them all. Sadly I miscarried in my 40s after contracting German Measles and was unable to have a child of my own. A friend remarked that I was great with young people and suggested that I became a foster carer. “What’s that?”, I said. “You look after other people’s children,” they said. I’ve never looked back.
“We applied in January 1987 and after numerous courses and visits from social workers, we were finally approved! Our first long term foster child Tania joined us aged 15 – she was very traumatised. She stayed with us until she was 19 at which point she moved in with her boyfriend and now has 3 lovely daughters. She has a new partner now who proposed to her during lockdown. She’s a wonderful mother and I told her as much. She turned, smiled and said, ‘You showed me that there was a life out there. I learnt from you.’ It melted my heart.
“David, another lad we fostered came to us as a very broken 14 year old, he looked at the carpet, would not eat or drink and refused to attend school for three years. He came from a very dysfunctional family. He told me life had been very hard. I said “You can do one of two things – say I’ve been dealt a terrible blow and the rest of the world is going to pay for it, or you can say no and make it what you want. He chose the latter.”
“He’s now 35, happily married, owns his own very successful business, drives a Porsche and is a qualified sky diver. He is living proof that everyone can turn their life around. He invited Ian and I to sit at the top table with him at his wedding. At the end of his speech he said, ‘Before I finish my ‘thank yous’, I want to tell everyone a little bit about my life – something not all of you know. I came from a very dysfunctional family. When I misbehaved my father used to threaten me with foster care which I thought was like prison. I was 14 and wanted to end my life. I’d like to say a very special thank you to my new forever mum and dad Norma and Ian. If it hadn’t been for these two people I would not be here today – they turned my life around. Norma and Ian thank you! You will never know how much you were and are loved.’ Tears of joy welled up in my eyes. You never know at the time how much you will touch a young person by giving from the heart.
“As a foster carer you are always going to get the good and the bad. If you have the ability to lead by example, a good sense of humour and are non-judgemental even if you are pushed – it is the job for you. Would I recommend it? Yes. Ian and I have led a really fulfilling life. We enjoy young people’s company and watching them grow and flourish. Even if you only have them for a short period it’s good to know that you have given them an interlude in the life of a normal family with no violence or hardship. As I said, what ever is broken in your heart you can mend it. I believe that everything happens for a reason. If I had had my own children would I have fostered? I don’t know… but if I hadn’t where would all these lovely young people be now? ”
If you would like to make a real difference to the lives of vulnerable children and young people in your local community by becoming a foster carer, visit www.fostercarers.com today and start your highly rewarding fostering adventure!
* The names of the foster children and surname of the foster carers have been changed for safeguarding purposes.
